Been meaning to write/muse about this for some time already, but tonight, chatting with a good friend gave me the impetus to actually get down to it. Well, we were talking about relationships and how some break down due to incompatibility. And honestly, I'm still sitting on the fence when it comes to the question of whether similar or opposite interests make for happier and longer-lasting couples. Of course you know the argument goes that those who share the same interests have a lot of common ground lalala, then those with different interests always bring something new and fresh to the table laleeloo. I know that both can work.
I'm not sure it's obvious, but Terence and I surprisingly fall into the latter category. And when I say this, the first thing people usually come up with is: Eh ya hor. He's a sailor and yet you can't even swim!!! HAHAHA. Ok yes la, true true. But passions aside, our personalities are almost even more completely opposite. We don't always 100% see eye to eye, but you will find that trying to see from another perspective can do wonders for so many aspects of your life, this one being no exception. But still, I would say that simply equating good/effective communication with a good and healthy relationship is way too reductive. Which would then lead us to the should-you-or-should-you-not marry your best friend argument.
Maybe I cannot put it down adequately in words, but my take is that the person you love HAS to be more, much more than a best friend although he/she has to be that too. So everyone knows that Terence and I have a semi long-distance relationship (semi because it's not really that; we see each other quite often what with all the flying about) and I have been congratulated on that before, on several occasions. I am very open to people who think that not seeing each other on a daily basis means less nerves to grate on, but I'm afraid I will disagree when they assume that this is what solidifies and strengthens our relationship. Many many times we've spent long periods living together alone and we really enjoy it so much despite the newfound responsibilities. I would say that we're good apart, but always at our best together, and therefore looking forward very much to marriage!
Maybe that is why we both love Sydney; it is where we've been most domestic together and it just feels so right. It feels like home, and that is why I couldn't identify more with the new Aussie tourism promotion song that goes "There's nothing like Australia". Like during my trip in June when it was winter and we spent almost the WHOLE time holed up at home. He had exams on, so I essentially was padding around the house in 5 layers of clothes and bedroom slippers, with nothing on my face, preparing lunch or looking for snacks hahaha. We would prepare dinner together though, partly because I'm quite incapable in the kitchen myself, but more so because we're good partners :) And then we would eat, watch Man VS. Wild huddled up together, afterwhich he would hit his books while I read my magazines (following a fair distribution of washing up, of course). When the World Cup qualifiers came round and late-night matches were in full swing, we would run out into the living room at ungodly hours together, swathed in our SQ fleeced blankets and pretend that we're poor homeless people hahaha. Undeniably, there's going to be the occasional irritability at each other, but I believe love is:
2% eh-can-you-PLEASE-for-the-last-time-go-and-pick-your-clothes-off-the-floor-before-I-go-and-do-it-myself-then-get-REALLY-mad, 4% working on that, 30% tickling matches, incessant laughter and amusement, 30% talking some more in bed once the lights go off, and the final 34% going towards just appreciating each other and ALWAYS letting each other know it.
I don't know all about love, really, but I know I love Terence because after 7years+ together, I still am SO excited to talk to him and see him everyday. And although my Christian faith wavers, I know there must be a God who must love me so much that He blessed me with someone who loves me so much. A close friend told me that she once told someone (haha I know this sounds very funny and gossipy!!!) that not everyone is as lucky as me to be in love with her best friend, and maybe that is so, but above and beyond that, I believe love works when you just make up your own rules as you go along. It's cliche, but I guess when you know it, you just KNOW, and then you go from there :)
Goodnight, and happy weekend!
I'm not sure it's obvious, but Terence and I surprisingly fall into the latter category. And when I say this, the first thing people usually come up with is: Eh ya hor. He's a sailor and yet you can't even swim!!! HAHAHA. Ok yes la, true true. But passions aside, our personalities are almost even more completely opposite. We don't always 100% see eye to eye, but you will find that trying to see from another perspective can do wonders for so many aspects of your life, this one being no exception. But still, I would say that simply equating good/effective communication with a good and healthy relationship is way too reductive. Which would then lead us to the should-you-or-should-you-not marry your best friend argument.
Maybe I cannot put it down adequately in words, but my take is that the person you love HAS to be more, much more than a best friend although he/she has to be that too. So everyone knows that Terence and I have a semi long-distance relationship (semi because it's not really that; we see each other quite often what with all the flying about) and I have been congratulated on that before, on several occasions. I am very open to people who think that not seeing each other on a daily basis means less nerves to grate on, but I'm afraid I will disagree when they assume that this is what solidifies and strengthens our relationship. Many many times we've spent long periods living together alone and we really enjoy it so much despite the newfound responsibilities. I would say that we're good apart, but always at our best together, and therefore looking forward very much to marriage!
Maybe that is why we both love Sydney; it is where we've been most domestic together and it just feels so right. It feels like home, and that is why I couldn't identify more with the new Aussie tourism promotion song that goes "There's nothing like Australia". Like during my trip in June when it was winter and we spent almost the WHOLE time holed up at home. He had exams on, so I essentially was padding around the house in 5 layers of clothes and bedroom slippers, with nothing on my face, preparing lunch or looking for snacks hahaha. We would prepare dinner together though, partly because I'm quite incapable in the kitchen myself, but more so because we're good partners :) And then we would eat, watch Man VS. Wild huddled up together, afterwhich he would hit his books while I read my magazines (following a fair distribution of washing up, of course). When the World Cup qualifiers came round and late-night matches were in full swing, we would run out into the living room at ungodly hours together, swathed in our SQ fleeced blankets and pretend that we're poor homeless people hahaha. Undeniably, there's going to be the occasional irritability at each other, but I believe love is:
2% eh-can-you-PLEASE-for-the-last-time-go-and-pick-your-clothes-off-the-floor-before-I-go-and-do-it-myself-then-get-REALLY-mad, 4% working on that, 30% tickling matches, incessant laughter and amusement, 30% talking some more in bed once the lights go off, and the final 34% going towards just appreciating each other and ALWAYS letting each other know it.
I don't know all about love, really, but I know I love Terence because after 7years+ together, I still am SO excited to talk to him and see him everyday. And although my Christian faith wavers, I know there must be a God who must love me so much that He blessed me with someone who loves me so much. A close friend told me that she once told someone (haha I know this sounds very funny and gossipy!!!) that not everyone is as lucky as me to be in love with her best friend, and maybe that is so, but above and beyond that, I believe love works when you just make up your own rules as you go along. It's cliche, but I guess when you know it, you just KNOW, and then you go from there :)
Goodnight, and happy weekend!